December 2009
61 posts
What I did on my Christmas Break. By Codi Fischer...
Even if you can’t convince her of the laugh out loud part, you can critique her redundancy of ‘Love you. LOTS OF LOVE’. Just piling love on top of love at that point.
wordsbycodi:
I spent most of the day driving in my car with my mom going to visit my brother. On the way back I recieved a text message from my aunt which read:
Hope you’re having a very merry x-mas! Love you....
Who wants to help me make an infommercial for my new invention ‘The Quest’. It’s a quilt/ vest to keep you warm while you are watching TV or at your child’s soccer game. I hope no one has tried to invent something similar.
Coasting
Now starts the week long span where people have officially checked out and don’t really give a damn about anything. The hypocrisy is that these people also expect the rest of the world to function as normal. They can’t understand why stores would be closed, gyms wouldn’t be open or movies wouldn’t be playing. That defines the self centered spirit of the holiday season. I...
Next time I see any of you make sure to ask me to show you my magic trick. I can make a hundred dollar bill (or five twenties or any combination of currency) disappear. It’s actually more impressive than that. Once you hand me the money I make both myself and the money disappear.
It’s magic.
Attn: Haiti
Upon reading that thousands of Haitians are living as slaves in their own country, I promptly sent this email:
To: haiti@haitimail.com
From: Jim
Re: Slavery
Not cool, Haiti. Really not cool. Fix it post haste.
Sincerely,
Jim.
I need your help with something. When someone says that a movie has a really strong cast, start telling people that Meryl Streep can benchpress 430 lbs.
Gotta love racist and ignorant comics going before you to make the crowd hostile and turned off.
At least I got some sausage in the crock pot when I get home.
McCain v. McCain
I think the old man’s mind is going.
ronbabcock:
josh:
brianglidewell:
The other day:
McCAIN: I’ve been around here 20-some years. First time I’ve ever seen a member denied an extra minute or two to finish his remarks. … I just haven’t seen it before myself.
In 2002:
Mr. DAYTON. I ask for unanimous consent that I have 30 seconds more to finish my remarks.
Mr. McCAIN. I...
Time?
Time is always moving. We can agree on that, right?
Well I am constantly amazed at the rolling progress that time brings around. Not even in the grand scheme of things. Last night I was amazed at my day. I went to work at my new job which is going great. I ended my day down in Santa Monica, close to where I had to be for my open mic. I was able to get up and do my time. From there I ran over to...
About my New Rules For Dating.... →
Oh no, I hope what I wrote was not misread. The term ‘shallow’ was meant in jest and I couldn’t agree with your list more. You want someone who is proactive about their life, it makes perfect sense.
wordsbycodi:
I’ve read responses, and words like ‘shallow’ have been thrown around. As well as mock lists, that may refer to me having low standards. And YES, I have had low...
My New Rules for Dating.
So it basically goes like this:
1. Be a grownup.
2. Be a grownup.
3. Live like a grownup.
4. Understand the realities and progressions of grownup relationships.
5. Then she gets shallow. (jk, I assume she means babe as everyone does, in her eyes they are one).
Short version of her list: HAVE YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!
wordsbycodi:
#1 - Must have a car.
#2- Must have a job.
#3- Must have...
I am with Steve on this one. Watching the show cause it is a train wreck is encouraging more trainwreck tv and humanity doesn’t need that. I have worked in reality for 3 and a half years, it is a zit on the face of humanity.
These shows lead to having to deal with these types in real life, we don’t need that.
steveagee:
I can’t bring myself to watch Jersey Shore, no matter how much...
Get High Now...without Drugs is an illustrated,... →
My Daily Horoscope
My horoscope for today:
Luck will be with you to help you find what you’ve been searching for for some time. All the conditions will be perfect to make your emotions explode. Be careful not to let yourself go, foolishly. Anger gives bad advice.
I am a little scared of my emotions exploding, it sounds messy. There is also the possibility of me crying which I am not prepared to do. I am well aware...
My Daily Horoscope
My horoscope for the day:
A complex situation grows and keeps you from thinking straight. Appearances are misleading and you know it. Your sharpness enables you to unravel the mystery with ease.
Sorry horoscope, took my gingko today, thinking straight will not be a problem. I am liking the idea of a ‘mystery’ to unravel. That has me intrigued. I hope the mystery involves treasure....
My Daily Horoscope
My horoscope for today:
You will be in good spirits again. Something new enlightens your life. You will successfully get out of a tricky situation. You have been able to bear such events thanks to your good mood. You deserve the gift that life gives you.
I knew it!! I am getting a present today and it is going to say ‘To: Jim, From: Life’. About damn time. In all honesty life has been...
The term ‘Gravy Train’ is going to baffle me until the day I die. It means a situation where wealthy, prosperity, reward or the ‘good life’ have come your way(i.e. your gravy train just came rolling in). But there never was in the course of human history a train full of gravy that came rolling into town signaling that tough times will soon be a thing of the past. Most...
People behind me are talking about what commandments 11-20 would be. #movietheateraudiencesbecrazy
My Daily Horoscope
My horoscope for today:
When it comes to your mental and physical health, the planets will support you and give you self-confidence. Your adventurous spirit will help you take the risks you need to show both to yourself and to others what you are capable of.
Ok, the planets supporting me will not give me self-confidence. I am starting to think you have dropped more than your fair share of acid,...
BOOT CAMP! REALLY?
Remember when boot camp used to mean something? Boot camp was used by the military to break down a recruit and build them back up to be a soldier. I am not saying it isn’t dumb, but it definitely was built on a tough as nails attitude. Now people have seemed to hijack the word for their own petty endeavors. Work out boot camp, bridal boot camp, salsa dancing boot camp, grow up people. What...